by Rev. Dr. Mary Susan Gast, Conference Minister, February, 2004
Monthly Reflections from The Pacific ~ News and Events of the NCNC United Church of Christ

STAND IN AWE

Words of encouragement and support for those ministering "in the fields."

It’s anniversary time! As of February 1, I have been your Conference Minister for 7 years. Seven. The Biblical number invoked for its indivisibility, and evoked for the completion of creation.

We are not yet “complete” as a Conference. We have still more to learn and to do as we yearn toward full community and mutual support among all of our congregations and ministers. More to build up in our understanding and undertaking of covenant. More to live up to as God’s rainbow people. More to free up for service and fire up for mission.

“Conference Minister” is a title that sounds kind of stuffy. And it’s confusing—folks often assume I’m an event planner. But in the letter of call to the Conference Minister the meaning is clearer: the Conference Minister is Spiritual Leader [aka “Bishop”] and Chief Executive Officer [aka “Elder”] for this alliance of churches and ministers which make up the Northern California Nevada Conference.

My job description is overgrown with administrative detail, embellished with inspiration, enriched with pastoral vision, occasionally crushed by the forces of technological chaos. And there is one component of my ministry that has gone unmentioned by search committee and personnel committee, and yet appears to be formative and foundational, challenging and sustaining, maybe even essential. It is: to stand in awe.

Stand in awe. It may well be part of the vocation of all who are called to minister.

Now I know that there are those among my Conference Minister colleagues who would be swift to state that standing in awe is a little easier when the view ahead of you is the Sierra Nevadas rather than, say, Ackley, Iowa. There are those who would note that standing in awe is a whole lot more likely when you’re speaking to Kenneth Kaunda in a church social hall in Durban, than when you’re engaging with Bonnie Higgs over the lime Jell-o salad in Muncie. So, OK, I have it pretty easy in the awe department. But, really, don’t all of us need to stand in awe?

Isn’t it awesome that within our church family we are so often present, on hand, nearby at moments of tender intimacy, searing pain, ebullient joy? To watch the intricate network of kinfolk and kindred hearts assemble at a memorial service, where a frail, limited, yet exquisite human life is remembered and celebrated unleashing inspiration—is to be awed. To witness a couple committing themselves to a future together, with only the fine thin thread of love to span their separate pasts and different identities is to be awed. Unmerited trust, unanticipated closeness, persistent friendship, fruit trees in blossom, the sweep and roar of the Pacific, a baby’s smile—any or all of these capsize our reasonability, and dump us into awe.

We read in the Epistle to the Romans, “You stand only through faith so do not become proud but only stand in awe.” [11: 20]  That verse reminds me of a 1960’s poster by Sister Corita, which read, “To understand is to stand under, which is to look up to, which is a good way to understand.”

During my years in the Northern California Nevada Conference I have had many occasions to stand in awe. I have been awed at the time and skills given with goodwill and despite tribulation to the ministries of the Conference: visioning, accounting, planning, camping, planning, pastoral ethics, pastoral care, pastoral search, planning. I have stood in awe at the hospitality and graciousness of congregations and of committees and boards of directors. I have stood in awe at the profound questions raised by 14 year olds. I have stood in awe at the terrifying rumbling of the Holy Spirit shaking up the church in the test tube of conflict and then letting go, releasing the fragments to fall back together in new patterns, new mosaics. I have stood in awe at the repeated triumphs of justice over panic and hope over fear. I have stood in awe of love’s quirky and relentless circulation between us and among us.

And, yes, as your Conference Minister I believe it is part of my job to stand in awe.

Your comments are welcome
Send to msgast@ncncucc.org