by Rev. Dr. Mary Susan Gast, Conference Minister, May, 2004
Monthly Reflections from The Pacific ~ News and Events of the NCNC United Church of Christ

THE LIGHTING OF A BAZILLION CANDLES

Words of encouragement and support for those ministering "in the fields."

Note: On April 24 Mary Susan Gast and Roger Straw officiated at the wedding of their daughter, Susannah Straw-Gast to Matthew McDevitt.

It all started with the Unity Candle. They didn’t want one. Not that they were against unity. (They were, after all, getting married). But something about that ritual just didn’t seem right to them.

Still, they wanted something to follow the vows and the exchange of rings, some movement, some action to embody a new life. Jumping the broomstick? Stomping a wineglass? Passing out flowers? We went back to crushing the wine glass, used at Jewish weddings, with Matt and Susannah fastening onto the assertion behind it that even at the times of greatest rejoicing, we acknowledge the brokenness of the world.

Weddings are laden with expectation. Far beyond the simple exchange of vows there is not only an industry promoting attire and food and flowers and venue and travel, but a huge and largely unexamined substratum of suppositions. For better and for worse neither Susannah nor Matt are likely to let any assumption abide unchallenged or lapse into unthinking acceptance. So they wrote the words to accompany a ritual with the modest working title, “The Lighting of a Bazillion Candles.”

During the wedding ceremony we parent-officiants talked about the privilege they had been given to publicly celebrate their union. We marveled that “Each of you commits yourself to pursue your one wild precious life—together,” and paraphrased the musical message via Count Basie, “Some would call it Madness, but we would call it Love.” We spoke the specificities of the occasion, noting, “For the rest of your time on earth you will remember that on a sunny day in late April, at the beginning of the second week of the NBA playoffs, you stood together, in the presence of the Great Spirit of Love and Life, in the midst of people who have watched you grow up, and people who have grown up with you, family and friends, new and old.” We cited scripture and theology and talked about love.

Vows said; rings given and received; Matt and Susannah lit candles all over the sanctuary as Roger read the words of two young people who have glimpsed a vision of love too bold and big to be confined to one snug home, or one bright candle. “Let this union, then, be one not by acquisition, nor crisscrossed by property lines or white-picket fences within larger steel gates. Instead, we pray, may this union serve in the endeavor of breaking apart age-old insults, reductions and retreats. Rather than a smug finish, let it be a clear-eyed beginning, a way to go out into the world in spite of the ever-beckoning bosoms of greed and accumulation. Even as this love creates new light, we pray that You keep it from ignorance to the rich darkness that begot it – let this love more often than not work to illuminate the community of many, and in turn be illuminated by that community's velvety insistence – holding fast for evermore to the sustenance and renewal that have so blessed it up to this day.”

“Could You Be Loved?” was the recessional, it’s title beaming over the gathered community a most blessed and expansive challenge. For Susannah’s teary-eyed mother, Paul Simon provided the subtext, “These are the days of miracle and wonder.”

                                                                  ~ Mary Susan

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